New here. Can't sleep. It's been over 36 hours now.

Hi. Locomotive engineer here. Work all sorts of weird hours. Something daylight, sometimes midnights. They give me a 2 hour call then keep me there (alert and attentive) for 12 hours. Then rest, then another train the next day.I don't like to brag but... I'm good at it. I'm very safety conscience about my job. On the train, I have never so much as nodded.Unfortunately years has trained me to fight sleep. When I feel my eyelids begin to get heavy on the train, a shot of adrenaline spikes in my body and I'm awake. The thought of crashing and killing my coworkers or the public terrify me, so the adrenaline is a good thing.But then I lay down in my bed. I feel my soft pillow. I begin my breathing exercises. I'm in a forest. The sun is warm with a gentle breeze. Slowly breathing. I relax. I feel myself relax my leg muscles, thighs, butt cheeks, stomach, shoulders. Relaxing. Then I feel sleep... Sleep pulls my legs into the ground. I melt and become one with the forest floor. Only my toes stick up until they, too, sink below. Then my thighs. My legs have become dead branches.. I'mying down using a soft log as a pillow, and my chest sinks. My breathing is slow and my mind has given up. Just tidying up a few minor thoughts. "Cereal for breakfast. Help kids off to school. Walk the dog. Don't wreck this damn train. Water the law.... Wait, what?!? The train?!? Holy crap! I'm about to fall asleep!! Wake up!! Wake up NOW!!" and a bolt of adrenaline.My record is 58 hours. That's with sleeping pills, zquil, mediation, etc.Tonight, I'm not in a forest. Tonight I'm in a horse arena. The horse is Sleep. All I have to do is catch it, pet it, stroke it's nose, and hopefully it will carry me off. But Sleep is unbroken thus far. I can touch him as he mockingly trots past me, but...Two chlomo, a Lunesta, shot of Zquil, and a handful of melatonin. It sounds like the recipe for a suicide victim, but it's the only thing that works.Sorry for my ramble. I hope everyone on this sub is sleeping, riding that crazy horse or melted into your forest. via /r/insomnia https://ift.tt/2LZyv67